This is part six of the fictitious journals of 50-something layabout and 2012 skeptic James Gladwin-Turner.
These posts take the form of edited highlights from the imagined author’s imagined book ’365 Days on Tor’, in which the author climbs Glastonbury Tor every day for a year, and attempts to understand what the Hell the 2012 phenomenon is all about. Here’s all the previous entries.
May 1st 2012
My phone chimes. A new text message. I prise one eye open – 8.30am. Early for me. Who sends a text this time in the morning anyway? I open the other eye and silently watch the dusty spears of sunlight poke through my toilet paper-thin curtains. It’s already warm. ‘Just one look at you, and I know it’s gonna be… a lovely day’ I mumble tunelessly. By Merlin and all his happy gnomes, it really is going to be a special Mayday. I debate whether …
In part five of the fictitious journals of ex-music journo and epic fib-weaver James Gladwin-Turner, James has guilt pangs as things get out of hand, and ends up with a bloody nose.
These posts take the form of edited highlights from the imagined author’s imagined book ’365 Days on Tor’, in which the author climbs Glastonbury Tor every day for a year, and attempts to understand what the Hell the 2012 phenomenon is all about. Here’s Part one, Part two, Part three and Part four.
April 13th 2012
What have I done? That’s a rhetorical question, because I know exactly what I’ve done – told a big, fat porkie pie. But I didn’t expect things to take off so quickly. It was the perfect storm – I told the right lie, at the right time, to the right people. A month on and the fib has taken on a life …
Media reports suggest that Pope Benedict XVI (Joseph Ratzinger) will not remain pontiff in 2012. His successor, according to a c. 16th prophesy, will be Petrus Romanus – the last pope and, depending on who you believe, the Antichrist.
Amongst all the hullabaloo around the Mayan Long Count, another equally spurious / seismic prophesy for 2012 has been ignored. In 1139, Malachy, Archbishop of Armagh, was summoned to Rome by Pope Innocent II. There he supposedly experienced a vision of future popes, which he recorded as a sequence of cryptic phrases. This manuscript was then deposited in the Roman Archive, and thereafter forgotten about until its rediscovery in 1590.
This is the standard explanation, at least. The document forecasts 112 future popes, each accompanied by a short Latin motto. Apart from the total number of popes forecast before the last pontiff, the only connection …
In part four of the fictitious journals of hippy-botherer James Gladwin-Turner, James does something very naughty indeed.
These posts take the form of edited highlights from the imagined author’s imagined book ’365 Days on Tor’, in which the author climbs Glastonbury Tor every day for a year, and attempts to understand what the Hell the 2012 phenomenon is all about. Here’s Part one, Part two and Part three.
March 24th 2012
Everyone in this town is a freak. I’ve been here three months now and feel qualified to make that statement. Guru-worshipers, Goddess-worshipers, Animists, Odinists, Machicheans, Zoroastrians, Alchemists, Buffalo talkers, Dog whisperers, Anthroposophists, Crowleyans, Weedians, Immortalists, Tantrists, Druids, Theosophists and Naqshbandiyya-Mujaddidiyya Sufis. They’re all here, plus no doubt a bunch of others yet to be discovered – Pastafarians and Cookie Monsterists perhaps. Suppose I can’t complain, but I should be gathering some quotable insights on the 2012 phenomenon from …
Esoterica is the art of discovering the possible influences of unorthodox practices on recorded history. Or so say I. And the 2012 phenomenon is no exception - it’s The Holy Blood and The Holy Grail of the 21st century or, more appropriately, a meme that functions in a similar way to one of its many scenarios: destruction by a black hole. All other memes on its event horizon get caught in its irresistible pull, sucked into a point of infinite density; black holes and 2012ology even have a singularity at their centre.
The two principal and bizarrely contrasting theories of 2012ology are: planetary catastrophe such as pole reversal (as promulgated by the likes of Geoff Stray) and consciousness evolution (supported by Daniel Pinchbeck et al.) The latter theory is more black hole-like; mind-bendingly complex if you attempt to pull together all the disparate threads. But this is what …